One long journey!

Being back home isn't! As in it isn't home, it's the place where my friends and family hang out. It's wet and it's cold, and I've a lurgy. I don't know whether it's a tropical one, a true blue Brit variety or a monster mutant that festered in the nether regions of the skyways. it could even be the 20 or so a day cigarettes I smoked whilst in Sri Lanka, price was not the temptation, they were £3 a packet. I can smoke with apparent impunity in the tropics, I'm beginning to see the knock on effect here. When I got back from Cuba I had much the same thing, real bad chest and throat, hacking up obscene substances and feeling really lousy. It doesn't help easing the transition of coming back. But maybe I can keep in the mind the smoking issue, at least cut down what I smoke abroad. Since arriving I felt awful, at the party on Saturday I crawled onto a cushion and crashed out, the whole night. At least I managed to sort a costume out, not that great, but a costume all the same. From what I heard the party went well, it carried on past dawn. (Photo: Termite mound - Polonawura, Sri Lanka)

But what was the biggest and best thing about getting home, riding my bike of course. And what was I greeted by, a damp, dejected bike that barely spluttered into life, popping and farting all the way. I could be all hippyish and claim it was down to negative vibes, as I'd wondered if it would start easy enough. And it did start relitively easy; it just wouldn't run well. So between us, me hacking and coughing, the bike coughing and spluttering we make a sorry picture of ourselves. Not for long though, I don't have such a fierce headache this morning, After cleaning the air filter and resetting the mixture has got the bike settling down too. So now I'm ready to set off for Slovakia and the next round of treatment at my dodgy east european dentist. Luckily no more implants are going in, but still loads of work. For me this is the last chance to try and make sure I have a decent set of teeth to last me my lifetime, the smile if nothing else. I'm too vain to feel comfortable flashing a gummy smile. Some things you just have to accept, having no teeth isn't one of them. Shame on my vanity, not at all, it's mine to use in any way I see fit! (Photo: Elephants on parade - Kuadulla national park - Polonawura, Srei Lanka).


Number one priority now is to find a publisher, has to be done before next spring. Then I can fit in the hundreds of book signing appearances, the interview on national TV, and hopefully squeeze in the Queen's garden party before buggering off next time. Alternatively, I can publish it on the web, have no hassle and no fuss. i'd prefer to see it on display in my local bookshop really, would that be understandable? Obviously I'm not the best judge on this, it could be seen as a heap of festering shite, I like to think it's at least reasonably well written.
Of course, for me, it's never going to be about how well I've expressed myself, it's the story itself, the multifaceted journey; of course for me, it can never be just a story. But now it's completion is in sight, it holds a different meaning for me. It maybe started wanting to honour Cai's name, at last partially, wanting to share my grief and suffering. That's changed, all the earlier reasons still hold true, but I'm doing it mainly for the experience of writing about the most intense event of my life. the insight I've gained through this is valuable, but the joy of writing and the discipline I've found to do it is all the reward I need for now.

East versus west!

A roasting hot day was spent on the beach for my last day, luckily made bearable by a steady breeze. It only took an hour or so to finish my water. Maybe something to do with a long cycle ride beforehand, I wanted to find a further access road so cycled right round to the Batticolao road, only to have second thoughts. I still baked for a few hours, looking well now. My face and torso have gone deeeeep red, which should have browned off nicely in another day. Unfortunately it did, then peeled, so I’m now looking piebald. On the way saw some dung beetles in action. Ace, two working together! The one at the back always seemed to be the smaller, whilst the one at the front wasn’t only pulling. It would climb onto the ball of dung, allowing its weight to gain momentum and make pushing easier for the other. It was a technique I saw practiced by more than one pair. (Photo: Dung beatles - Kalkudha, Sri Lanka)

Brahminy kites and eagles again on the beach, the kites can always be seen once the coconut plantations begin. And it now appears the others have regular perches, they don’t fly much, just hang around under the canopy, overlooking the beach. As I saw last visit, if seeing a kite make a catch they pursue and thieve it off them. Shame I couldn’t get very close for a good picture, they have eyes like a hawk you know. It was one of the longest times I’ve enjoyed the beach without being intruded upon. But I have got my spot, which has proven to be where the big boys hang out. Ox powered carts aren't the norm here any longer, but there are a few left. Tractors are the usual agricultural powerhouses, but you need money for such vehicles and the poor folks don't have access to it. From a young age a prospective team of oxen will be chained together, constantly, to ensure a happy and docile union. (Photo: Large Eagle - Kalkudah beach, Sri Lanka)

But now I have to leave Kalkudah, after over six weeks. I suppose I’ve settled quite well really, there aren’t many points to piss me off. A few times I’ve wished people wouldn’t feel the need to walk hundreds of yard down the beach to merely ask me my name and where I’m from, but there you go, that’s what it’s like being a novelty in a foreign country. Of course I prefer this, it means they aren’t used to tourists, much better than following you all day trying to flog you something. So many of the local kids know me by name, some I can even remember theirs. More than anything, the cheerful disposition of the people has never wavered. Only one disconcerting factor has become apparent, an increase of pleas for money, off some of the kids. Not once has this been the case within the village, only from one small area, just outside the village. A small huddle of fisherman’s huts, hosting a ragtag army of grubby, barefoot kids, are the culprits. I assume these of the poorest families around, they certainly look that way. Their health and hygiene leave a lot to be desired, the women sport gappy smiles, more gap than teeth, whilst a number of the kids have scabby infestations, which don’t appear to be getting treated. First time I passed them it was enough to speak to me, asking if I’d take a picture of the family, which I gladly done. On my return that day, and ever since, they’ve come running out, “money, money, money.” (Photos: 1] Pair of apprentice dray animals; 2] Sunset sky - Kalkudah, Sri Lanka)

And for a nice departure present three of my teeth have fallen out, now I guess there is a definite need to return and get my teeth fixed. Isn’t it funny, on my last day on the east coast, feeling reluctant to leave, wammo! Whenever it had gone it would have been diabolic, now I can’t wait to get to Slovakia again! (Photo: Black Headed Ibis - Kaudulla National Park, Polonawura, Sri Lanka)

It’s a bit of a shame having to run the gauntlet of central and western parts of the island to get back to the airport. In many ways when it’s time to go home it’s just better to get if over and done with. Going via Polonawura may well have given me an opportunity to see more elephants, and some of the most complete ancient ruins on the island. The first I gave my best shot the second I totally ignored the possibility, choosing instead to sit and plough through a book in one day. I haven’t read much, it was a treat. In all honesty I couldn’t be bothered to face with the constant barrage of hassle from Sri Lankan opportunists. It was never like that on the east coast, oh how I miss that simple life, those simple, friendly people. Will that all change once the hoards discover the place? One thing is for sure, the local Tamil population do not want mass tourism now, before they have even had a taste of it there. (Photos: Family outing - Kaudulla National Park, Polonawura, Sri Lanka)

A truly despicable character, bugged me no end on arriving in Polonawura. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and eventually I found the correct way to offend him sufficiently. He was a tuk-tuk driver, yes, the lowest form of life in Asia. I agreed to allow him to show me a hotel, then drop me in town if I didn’t like it. At the second hotel he was still insisting on taking me somewhere else, he was really pushy and was annoying me. Between him and the owner of the second hotel they badgered me on a successive number of occasions, and it didn’t matter how many times I said no they still kept on. The final straw was on my second day there, when the driver had found out which hotel I was staying at. Screwing up his nose in distaste he asked why I stayed at a Muslim owned place, why did I help those people. When questioned, the only explanation he could give was that they ate beef. It only surprised me because he’d claimed to be Singhalese when we’d first meet, showing me pictures of the Buddha in his cab, though accompanied with Hindu deities, but that is quite normal. I’d thought he was Tamil, due to his very dark colour, lighter skin is a status symbol. And it turned out he was Hindu at least, it came as a slight surprise to hear a Hindu calling himself Singhalese, that isn’t normal. Personally I think he was just a dirty, bigoted, lying piece of shit, and told him so. First informing him that I too ate beef and explaining my abhorrence of religious intolerance, or bigotry in general. The disgust on his face when he said about eating beef, they happily eat water buffalo, which is as close to a cow as you could hope to get. And that was my welcome back to the heart of Sri Lanka! (Photo: 1] Running the gauntlet; 2] Evening stroll - Kaudulla National Park, Polonawura, Sri Lanka)

Kaudulla National Park, highly recommended by a number of people, such a shame because it makes me question their integrity. I was not the only one either, though we two whinging Brits could have easily been the point of scorn for those observing us. The elephants were gorgeous in the park, there can be no denying that, it was the mayhem created by the safari operators, the licensed drivers. It wasn’t quite as chaotic as Yala had been, and it was mainly for the elephants that trips were done. But a dozen jeeps plying the grassy plain between the forest and lake was a problem for the elephants. They come out the forest when it gets a touch cooler, but the invasive tactics of getting tourists closer drives them back into the forest. One knobhead could be seen chasing an elephant across the plain, jeep full of Japanese tourists laughing and shouting with excitement, he even drove full speed through a herd of water buffalo. Effectively the intrusive nature of the tours are a nightmare for the elephants, the saving grace is that the park closes at 6pm so the elephants do actually get a chance to drink and bathe in peace. We sat, with our engine switched off and waited patiently to see them emerging from the forest, which they surely did, in large groups. Many were sent dashing back in, trumpeting in alarm, matriarchs trying to form a protective circle round the young, pursued by jeeps full of cheering tourists. It was a disgrace, it sickened me. (Photo: 1] Elephant harassment - Kaudulla National Park, Polonawura; 2] Roadside wildlife- Nr Haberana, Sri Lanka)

It’s not been easy being torn away from the safe haven I found at Kalkudah, it was hard to leave the place and everything since has paled into insignificance. If only I could think of Kalkudah as a future retreat into paradise, but alas it’s not to be. The developers have already started, hotels are being built along the beach at Pasakudah, other developments are now under way along the beach road at Kalkudah. It saddens me, leaving me with gladdened to have enjoyed this patch of paradise before it goes for good. Maybe if Tsunamis were more regular it wouldn’t be such an investment opportunity. (Photo: Prime Tusker - Kaudulla National Park, Polonawura, Sri Lanka)

Well I have to be fair in my observations, so biting the bullet; I’m impressed by the parental instincts of these disgusting parasites of the avian world, crows. I’ve said how intelligent they are, but now I’ve witnessed two being amazingly protective over a youngster who obviously can’t fly but has been displaced from the nest. As well as bringing it food regularly, they do a first class job of fending off any possible threat. Whether chickens, dogs or humans, they will dive bomb the offending perpetrator and maintain a dual attack to waylay them. I considered for a while going and wringing the sodding things neck, you know, one less crow and all that. But looking at the dedication of the parents and vulnerability of the offspring I felt ashamed. Who am I to deprive a couple of parents of their precious child? (Photo: Crested Woodpecker - Newlands guesthouse, Kalkudah, Sri Lanka)

An impromptu afternoon off was taken too, when my laptop started going into slow motion. It felt really hot, so I turned it off and put it under a fan to cool it down. Deciding to bake myself on the beach for a few hours, I actually prefer to go in the hotter part of the day; it gives maximum tan in a shorter space of time. It means I can be vain enough to go home with a gorgeous tan, yet concentrate on my work for most the time. Let’s face it; I’m never going to be the sort to hide from the sun. And yes, I know the risks of melanoma; I also understand that the damage is more often done many years before. So if I’m gonna be doomed, I’m already doomed; I just hope I won’t look pasty white laying in my coffin, at least the bits that make it that far. (Photo: Kalkudah beach - East coast, Sri Lanka)

Whilst on the beach I spend so much of my time keeping an eye out for anyone coming my way. Don’t flaunt yourself before the locals! Anyway, the result of this is paying more attention to what is going on around you. It puts you in observation mode. I caught sight of a wasp like insect, busy digging out a tunnel, for quite some time too. As I got closer and closer it remained unperturbed, being too intent on the task at hand. I don’t think it was building a home for itself. It dug at the top edges of the high water mark, where the sand had enough moisture not to collapse into the tunnel. So it wasn’t stupid, I suspect it was building an egg-laying site, it surely couldn’t have used a tunnel to live if it was inundated with water everyday. Mind you, the speed at which it built, it wouldn’t be too inconvenient to build a new home each day. I watched it for a while as it tried a few patches of sand until it decided on the right spot. Also spotted a lone monkey too, sat on a tall tree stump. I thought it was a hawk or something from a distance, as I walked closer off it went, bounding across a coconut plantation. At one point it stopped halfway up a palm trunk, behind it, peering round to see if I was pursuing it. When it say me looking its way he just hid his head behind the trunk again, a bit like a young kid playing hide and seek, yes of course you’ve been seen, but if you hide again maybe, just maybe, you’ll get away with it. He, should I say it, didn’t wait too long to find out before bounding off again. I had no chance of getting my camera though, it was only 20 metres away. (Photo: Sand wasp - Kalkudah beach, Easst coast Sri Lanka)

I’ve been walking around the enclosures, the NGO redevelopment housing. The one actually around the village of Kalkudah is a shit-hole. The majority of houses have not even been finished, the lucky ones are only short of rendering on the brickwork, but many aren’t complete enough to live in. Palm frond huts stand within the compound, the family still residing in temporary shelters. Of the dozens there, only three have seen a lick of paint, giving an overall drab, humorless feel to the place. These few have put in a lot of work, creating bright, welcoming abodes. Despite all having an enclosure around their homes hardly any have bothered to plant any fruit or vegetables. Again there are one or two exceptions, guys who have a very productive garden growing. But the rest have made no effort to improve their situation, it has the feeling of a run down shanty town. Another observation is the number of homes standing empty, many of these are finished projects, shuttered up with never any sign of life. It gives rise to the rumours of some families having a number of homes built, by different NGO’s; having gone to one then the other, showing their deeds of destroyed homes. Without any coordination between the NGO’s some families ended up with a number of new homes while others got nothing. Not all the new developments are as run down, ones the other side of the village are much more presentable. All finished with render, mainly painted, a bright new enclave of homes. Without casting dispersions on the fisherfolk, it is mainly the local enclave of fishing families living in the worst development. None of the compounds have anything growing within them except the palm trees that were already there. I realise their tradition is to fish, but surely even the slowest thinking person can see how easy it would be to grow food, and how much it would improve their lives. (Photos: 1] Reptilian attitude - Newlands guesthouse; 2] NGO compound - Kalkudah, Sri Lanka)

The Tamil attitude to animals is very harsh, at best they don’t give a damn about nature, at their worst they can be damned brutal. I always thought Hindus revered cows, yet how can that be if you inscribe identification marks into their hide with a knife. I even cringe at the thought of branding, I don’t care what anyone says, it bloody hurts. Burn yourself and see, cows have nerves too, they too feel pain, isn’t that why they bellow and struggle while being branded. So imagine what it must be like to be held down and have letters, or designs, carved into your hide. Bearing in mind that is supposedly a sacred animal you can imagine how much concern they show for other species. Simple really, none! A half starved puppy keeps coming into the guesthouse grounds, only to be beaten with a stick and chased out. I feel awful about it, coz of course I got to befriend it, which only encourages it to come in. A sticky situation, one I can do little about, but I don’t want to exacerbate the problem. Runi, the owner, has two dogs, who survive on the thrown out scraps. The chickens feast on what the dogs leave, the debris. Being a guesthouse/restaurant there are more scraps than on most properties, so it encourages other dogs to come into the compound. He won’t tolerate it, throwing stones and even beating them if he can get close enough. I don’t like the treatment he dishes out, but can understand he doesn’t want a whole host of scrounging hounds overwhelming his property. He’s a lovely guy, but he has no heart at all when it comes to animals, neither do the other local people I’ve observed. That is one difference I see in favour of the Singhalese, they hold more respect for animals, whereas the Tamils tend to hold more respect for their fellow man. (Photo: Wild beehive - Newlands guesthouse, Kalkudah, Sri Lanka)

Today was a day for flying beasties to beware. Two different swarms had colonized trees within the guesthouse grounds, the first a type of bee, the second a large variety of hornet. Initially I was worried about the bees, thinking the family were destroying the whole hive to get the honey, I was pleased to realize they only took half the honeycomb. No harm was done to the bees or the rest of the hive, I guess credit must be due for the foresight in sustaining the colony. Not that the honey is used for anything but to instantly devour the honey, comb and all. The hornets faired a lot worse, they’re notorious for their lethal sting, claimed to be deadly if stung a number of times. Their hive was dispatched of completely, first sealing the exit with them all inside then torching the whole tree they’d nested in. The tree will survive, but the presence of the hornets won’t be tolerated. If disturbed by load noises they attack in a swarm, people have supposedly died from such an attack. How can I argue about that, I’d rather not risk getting stung by such vicious critters. (Photo: The burning bush {or hornet's demise} - Newlands guesthouse, Kalkudah, Sri Lanka)