Thursday, 3 July 2008

Cai ap Leslie 20/02/89 - 03/07/07

My beloved son, my best friend, my confidante - WHAT A WASTE!!

Words could never explain how empty and pointless life has become for me. A year has passed since the loss of Cai, it has been the longest year of my life. I've struggled on, without reason, just because I can/should. All I really want is to be reunited with him, but for some absurd reason that would be giving in.

Cai did indeed have the world at his fingertips, he attained the best grades in his year at college, an achievement he never got to celebrate. He could have studied what he wanted, easily got into medical school and become a doctor. He could have gone out into the world and made that difference he was so keen to make. He believed in chaos theory, how right he seems to be!!

A precious life thrown away because of some idiot's negligence in the preparation of his brand new motorcycle. A pox on that scum, I prey he knows it's him and it haunts him for the rest of his days: I know Cai would disagree! Though I feel my anger should be directed at those responsible, why should it be self consuming?

But today is the day to reflect on a more positive note, something I find so hard. Cai was an idealist, he believed in the good of everyone, believed we could all improve if given the right opportunities. Many of us could learn a lot by considering the views of this bright, sensitive young man. I hope I can prove him right, I hope I can adopt more of his ideals myself!

I know how much he is missed by so many, how much he influenced so many lives. Its rare for one so young to make such an impression, I'm proud to have been involved in his life, so proud of the person he became. He'll be sorely missed forever!

If anyone has ever deserved to be in a better place than our mortal existence I believe it's Cai. I hope there is indeed a better life after death, I hope Cai is to be found happy and beyond pain. I can only hope I will eventually rejoin him and once more bathe in his brilliance!

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